For the mums navigating the changes too.
♡ A note from Gemma
There are moments when I look at my daughter and still see the tiny little girl who used to need me for absolutely everything.
And then there are moments when I look again and realise she's changing before my eyes.
Her legs seem longer. Her conversations are different. She wants more independence. She knows her own mind. There are little glimpses of the girl she's becoming and suddenly the baby years feel long ago.
It's wonderful.
And if I'm completely honest, sometimes it makes my heart ache a little too.
We talk so much about helping our daughters navigate growing up.
But perhaps we don't talk enough about what it feels like for us, as mums, to watch it happen.
So this Journal is for us ♡
When did she get so big?
Growing up rarely happens in one enormous moment.
It's a collection of tiny ones.
The hand that doesn't automatically reach for yours anymore.
The clothes she's suddenly outgrown.
The bedroom door that closes a little more often.
The conversations with friends that are hers, not yours.
The little flashes of independence where she tells you, quite confidently, “I can do it.”
And of course, we want her to.
We've spent years teaching her to become confident and independent.
But that doesn't mean we're not allowed to miss the little girl who once needed us to do it for her.
It's okay to feel two things at once
Watching your daughter grow can bring the strangest mixture of emotions.
Pride and sadness.
Excitement and nostalgia.
Joy at seeing the person she's becoming alongside an almost physical longing to freeze time for just a little while.
Those feelings don't contradict each other.
You can celebrate her growing independence while missing the days when she curled up on your lap.
You can be excited for everything ahead of her while wishing you could revisit one ordinary Tuesday from when she was four.
You can know that growing up is exactly what she's supposed to do... and still wonder how it happened quite so quickly.
When her body begins to change
There can be something particularly emotional about the first physical signs of growing up.
Perhaps she suddenly needs deodorant.
You notice the beginnings of breast development.
She asks a question about periods.
Or one day you're buying her first period products and think:
Surely we're not here already?
For our daughters, these changes should feel normal and positive.
But for us, they can be another little reminder that childhood is moving forwards.
And perhaps part of supporting her confidently is allowing ourselves to process those feelings somewhere else.
She doesn't need to feel sad about growing up because we're sad to see childhood passing.
She needs to know that we're excited for her.
We can quietly hold the nostalgia ourselves.
Try not to make her responsible for your sadness
It's so tempting to say:
“Stop growing!”
or:
“You'll always be my baby.”
And there's nothing wrong with occasionally telling her that she'll always be your little girl.
But as she grows, there's something lovely about making sure the overriding message she hears is:
“I love watching you become you.”
Growing up shouldn't feel like something she's doing to us.
It's something extraordinary she's doing for herself.
And we get the privilege of watching.
Your relationship isn't disappearing - it's changing
Perhaps this is the part I find most reassuring.
She might need you differently as she grows.
She may no longer need you to fasten her shoes.
One day she won't need you to wash her hair.
Eventually she won't need you to pack her school bag.
But she'll still need somewhere safe to land.
She'll need someone she can ask the embarrassing question.
Someone who will listen without immediately trying to fix everything.
Someone who knows when to step in and when to give her space.
Someone she can call when life feels overwhelming.
The practical dependence of childhood gradually fades.
But in its place, we have the opportunity to build something else:
Trust ♡
Keep creating the little moments
Sometimes knowing childhood is passing can make us feel we need to create enormous memories.
The perfect holiday.
The perfect birthday.
The perfect day out.
But when I think about childhood, so much of what matters is wonderfully ordinary.
Chatting in the car.
A cuddle on the sofa.
Doing her hair.
Walking to school.
Sharing something silly that makes you both laugh.
Sitting on the edge of her bed at bedtime when you really ought to be getting on with everything else.
We don't have to make time stand still.
Perhaps we just need to notice it while it's happening.
Let her grow … but keep the door open
As our daughters move towards adolescence, there will inevitably be things they want to keep to themselves.
That's healthy.
Our job gradually changes from knowing everything to making sure they know they can tell us anything.
And that starts long before the teenage years.
Listen to the seemingly unimportant stories now.
Try not to dismiss the friendship dramas that feel enormous to her.
Answer the awkward questions without making them awkward.
Respect the little requests for privacy.
Because every time we show her that we're a safe person to talk to about the small things, we're quietly telling her she can come to us with the big things too.
And when her first period arrives...
For us, it might feel like another enormous marker of time passing.
For her, I hope it can simply feel like another normal part of growing up.
Not the day she suddenly became a woman.
Not the end of childhood.
Just her body doing something new.
She can still want cuddles.
She can still play.
She can still be silly.
She can still need her mum.
A first period doesn't suddenly make our little girls grown up.
They still have plenty of childhood left.
And I think sometimes mums need that reassurance just as much as daughters do.
Final Thoughts ♡
Perhaps motherhood is a lifetime of learning how to hold on and let go at the same time.
We spend the early years doing everything for them.
Then, almost imperceptibly, our job begins to change.
We step back a little.
We let them try.
We watch them become braver.
We watch them become more independent.
We watch them become themselves.
And yes, sometimes we might quietly miss the little girl they used to be.
But what a privilege it is to meet the person they're becoming.
So if you're looking at your daughter at the moment and wondering how your tiny baby suddenly became this wonderful, growing girl...
I think you're allowed to feel it all ♡
And then perhaps give her an extra-long cuddle while she'll still let you.
With love,
Gemma ♡
Founder, with you
Quietly ready, whenever she needs it. ♡
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